Japan Series #6 (Randomness)

Well, guess this stuff here is just randomness, but at least now we know where those people from before bought all their stuff. Honestly, i'd like to see some hot chick with big boobs in this get up. Anyhow, dunno if this is inspired by japanese animation or if animation inspired these.

Seriously, this is like a costume party... But, once again, if a girl can pull this off, wow....

OK, something a bit more interesting, I was trying to figure out what the heck this sign said underneath, looks like they didn't want us to find out. Unfortunatley, i can't read the writing, either Japanese people trying to tag in english, or maybe they tag in japanese... either way can't read most of the stuff.

Here we find a traditional Japanese fisherman, yes that is a pole in his hand, and yes... he will wait outside of your house all day to catchy any flying fish that come his way.

Haha, this is Ant Man, he is put in front of all the arcade centers and Pachinko places to scare away little kids, cause well... everyone is scared of Ants!

Japan Series #5 (Daily Life)

Space in Japan is very cramped, so aside from capsule hotels you can make a lodging out of cardboard boxes, quite warm and luxurious, japanese are so innovative, this must be the deluxe cardboard house version.


Well after waking up you gotta start prepping the sushi, giant tuna cut with band saw... yes the fish is bigger than the man. Does that mean japanese people are tiny? Or are the fish just really big??


After eating, Ladies please note, put on your make up before leaving the house, we want to see you all made up, we never want to see the "before" picture, just the "after" will do. So follow ancient japanese advice, "please do it at home"

Now we go onto family life, yes that is a little kid, yes that is her shoes, and yes she is going up the slide. You heard right, UP the slide, not down. Guess they do things a bit different in Japan eh?

Well, now that we're done eating and playing, you ever wonder why Japan is so clean?? It's because they have little men in vest carrying around vaccum cleaners picking up after you. Yes this man is vacuming the floor OUTSIDE... Now just repeat from step 1 and you have daily life in Japan!

Japan Series #4 (harajuku pt2)

Here chicky chicky... damn it where did my little chick go...
Almost wish I had photo shopped the above... haha can you guess what I'm thinking?

Wow... imagine waking up to this every morning...

I'm at a loss for words...

Ok, so this is cute, cute pose, cute outfit. In Japan they have these things called maid cafes, where girls like this serve you drinks and food and stuff. I would have gone paparazii but there were to many Otaku guys around, didn't want to stand in line, it's just straight creepy...

Japan Series #3 (harajuku pt 1)

This I believe is called cross culture... a white guy dresses up as a ninja, while the asian chick dresses up like a punk rocker... only in Japan.

Cat girl in a kimono...

These daft boogernauts think they are britney, no pictures... X

Yes they are occupying the handicap section of the sidewalk.

Bert's dream...

Japan Series #2 Elvis Land

So as we take the woof woof bus, yes it is a blue bus slighlty resembling a dog, even the bus stop looks like a dog... anyway, after getting off the train, then taking the bus...

We go through a big big gate... and enter into a magical world in Japan, one where the KING lives again, except...

That the KING is asian, and there are a lot of them in different sizes!

And of course, they have crazy hair... Yes his hair is bigger than his head, they have some crazy strong gel/hairspry in Japan. Ever wondered what a modern day samurai would look like? Evoluion of hair products, it went from pony tail or knot top, to this!

Then after all the festivities people line up from Krispy Kreme Donuts... every single day

How to get rid of the Wifey

1st you need hire a body double, see the two guys, both in jeans and green shirt, it is great to cause confusion and provide yourself with an alibi.

Then when around the wifey, make sure that you act disinterested, or you can pretend to be drunk, then she will give you a funny face. But don't worry, it lets you off the hook, when your drunk you can get away with a lot of stuff. And if you don't, just tell them you blacked out and don't remember a thing!!

So now that wifey's by herself and your "drunk" gather up the posse and make sure to strike a pose. This is a pivotal moment, striking a pose will give you confidence, also once you let people know of your plans, they will approve, and peer pressure will help you follow through.

OK, finally you need a distraction to make the wifey look away, rememer in the beginning where your supposed to hire a double/twin as an alibi and to cause confusion. Well nows the time to use him. Make sure that your double does something distracting and attracts wifey's attention.

Now for the final act, sneak up on unsuspecting wifey with Axe and voila, your done, old ball and chains been cut off and your a free man!

How to acquire a Bear Den

So, you want to get a bear den huh?? lets see how we go about doing that. First like some poofer, decide to pick a fight with a bear, just make sure its a happy coca cola bear and doesn't fight back, while your at it, jack his coke!!

When trying to seduce or get something from bear, beat it down first, then it will do whatever you want including making out with you! 1 step back, 2 steps forward. Write it down!

Now that they are all made up, you can totally take advantage of the bear, 1st bear carries you around everywhere while sleeping, good way to conserve energy. Just wish there was a more comfy way to sit...

Finally, we get to the best part, you get to jack the bear's cubby hole, or rather its cave/den, seems a bit small for a bear den, but its FREE! Just remember to bring some rum to stay warm and mix with the coke.
At the final stage, you bring a girl back to the bear den, pretend its your own, and enjoy making funny faces! While drinking rum & coke!

Japan Series 1

So monchichi went to visit Japan, must say many strange sights, which I will share later, such as capsule hotels, cosplay, maid cafes, entertainment, etc... Anyhow, Japanese are into zen, buddhism, hierarchy, etc... so to exemplify this we will look at their ideal evalutionary chain.

1. Most important is you must become like a rock... this is where you start out and must calm your mind, relax, learn to enjoy everything around you. If this were the beginning, think of it as a speck of dust or an atom, your just starting out in the evolutionary or reincarnation chain.






2. Now that you know the basics, you feel like a newborn chick, or ugly duckling... whichever may be the case. Either way you have wings, you need to use them and fly around, don't just flap them around and go no where! If you've geeb good, eat lots of bugs, become food for chinese people, etc...


3. Ah... the ever so vereable monk, you are done exploring physical side, we look for spiratual satisfaction. You can become a Man/Woman, ideally like one of these monks, if you can't tell, he is walking... just really really slow, luckily this is in a pedestrian only area so he can take his time. So what comes after the search for spirtual enlightenment.

4. Last but not least... if you do all this after you become human... you'll eventually trash the environment... then the cycle begins all over again, you will become the rock that was trashed... OK, sorry just wanted to share the dirty harbor... haha, anyhow promise more interesting things about japan to come, and I guarantee there are A LOT!!

Food series #1

I've always known asian people love their food, but what i've seen here takes the ball!

Whatever happened to the good old days of fishing, lazily lounging around with a pole, chatting with friends, having a beer, spending an afternoon on the water... apparently people here like to use poison, electricution, and bombing as well... guess they take their fishing seriously.

Well it's nice to know that when you eat at a restraunt the utensils are all clean, guess this is a good way to convince the foreigners. At least when you first look... then again it's just wrapped in plastic, doesn't mean its really clean... haha does it???

So.. my biggest mistake was trying to order Nachos in HK... you all don't know how much I miss mexican food. Nachos are made with DORITOS... someone send me Alberto's carne asada nachos, a burrioto from Boca would be nice too...

Well, off to the final dish, pig intestines... nuff said

Monchichi's Barbershop Antics #1

Well, Monchichi promised some indepth examanations on barbershops in China and what goes on inside, hopefully this will shed some light. Next time we'll try to explore swinging tassles? And drunk asian men singing! So let's begin our journey!
First we need to find a barbershop... lets try down this alleyway and see what's there. Luckily it's not all dark with strange people standing around, maybe we'll find something at the end.

Ooh, we found a barbershop... unfortunately it is empty... let see if we can find one with some people, we need to "discover" what goes on.

OOH our first one with people, seems like all guys playing with each other's heads... don't think this is the right one for monchichi, lets continue to explore!

Ahhh... this one is a bit better at least there are images of females in this one... and special discounted price, shampoo + trim + blow.... 20RMB comes out to around US$3. But seems like all the service is provided by guys again, lets explore further....

Monchichi's Barbershop Antics #2

Well, since we didn't find anything interesting in the first 3 barbershops, lets explore a bit more. We see some strange things outside of another barbershop... wonder what these are??

Apparently, this is what they consider lingerie in China, so if you go into one where you want them to wash your "hair" they might be dressed in something like this. Sometimes it can be a bit more risque, of course they don't like people running in wth big cameras taking pictures, hopefully we'll have some candid shots next time to appease curious minds.

Oooh, see through the barbershop window this is what you see, 2 ladies showing their skills, if they can do that to their own hand... wonder how much it is for a shampoo and blow??

A favorite place for barbershop workers to hang out is under the bridge, as you can see she has already assumee the position, and of course they always give you "service" with a smile.

OK, Monchichi's favorite hairdresser, her shirt says it all, she's polishing off her first client, maybe we'll be next. And yes that shirt has a shoe with a banana on it. How can you say NO??